Wednesday, 21 September 2011
Misery Memoir - Chapter 1
He thinks he has a very hard life. Mainly because he is surrounded by women. Three of us.
Move over junior Doctors working 60 hour weeks and Brain Surgeons, you have nothing on my husbands difficult life.
The latest chapter that he could add to his misery memoir happened on Sunday. I'd bought a nice piece of topside beef, cooked to perfection we sat down, our plates piled high with home made Yorkshires, scrummy veg and our delicious beef. Only something was missing.
'Did YOU buy anymore horseradish?'
Me, 'No, didn't know we were out. Have mustard.'
You'd have thought I was suggesting smearing the dogs grainy poo on his beef.
That ruined it for him.
The wife had not bought any horseradish!
If he was a cartoon character there would have been visible steam coming out of his ears.
This, my friends is what I have to deal with on a daily basis.
Chapter 2 is already being written about the price of a pint of Guinness in the pub these days (£10 for two pints - it's criminal)
Chapter 3&4 are about the receding hairline ('But you don't understand what it's like to look like Alan Shearer').
Chapter 5 The day he reversed into a petrol pump (And the £400 excess the insurance company charged)
Chapter 6 The day he had to spend 8 hours waiting for an Easy Jet flight at Glasgow Airport (with a hangover)
Chapter 7 Deciding age 6 to support Manchester City and the misery it's caused him.
It's got to be a Times Bestseller? Non?