Monday, 22 March 2010
Everyone is in for a treat when the new Nanny McPhee movie comes out next week. It is a delight for kids and adults, it has the word poo in it, a lot, which is obviously hilarious, dancing piglets, mud, bombs, flying motorbikes, beautiful English countryside, cowpats and Ewan McGregor.
But shove over Maggie Gyllenhaal, with your perfect Cath Kidston-esque dresses, beautiful hair, and gorgeous red lipstick, you quite clearly don't need a nanny.
The kids are squabbling, sulking, waking up too early, not eating enough fruit, not sleeping through the night, not doing as they are told, answering me back, getting through three sets of clothes a day, breaking expensive toys, making holes in their tights with their toe nails as they refuse to get them cut, wiping bogie's on the sofa, crying over whenever they don't get their own way...need I go on?
The husband, well, he isn't much better. He is leaving his pants on the floor, or the top of the wash basket - which is quite frankly, more frustrating than the floor. If he managed to walk from his side of the bed, to the wash basket, place the pants on top of said basket, then why not simply lift the lid and pop them in, whilst he's there? Arse! He is out playing football a lot, or watching football, he is leaving shoes by the back door, by the front door, on the stairs, at the bottom of the bed, that I trip over daily, he is leaving stinking sweaty football kit INSIDE the laundry basket, therefore making the whole lot of dirty washing smelling of B.O...Need I go on?
So, if anyone has Nanny McPhee's phone number, please supply me with it. I desperately need some magic....do you?
To see why I need the magic, click here
Thursday, 11 March 2010
Another day, another celeb sex scandal.
Tiger Woods, John Terry, Ashley Cole, even Vernon Kay was announced a sex text pest. Poor Tess.
And now, the squeaky clean Mark Owens admits to having had 'around - about' ten lovers during the time he has been with his wife. One of which has lasted as long as his relationship with his wife.
I feel so disappointed. Another man not being able to control his tail.
Is it being away from home so much, does it make them lonely and vulnerable? Is it because women throw themselves at him and after a while he finds it impossible to say no? Or is it because he just can't help himself as he is a callous love rat? Whichever, it's sad because not only is it so hurtful and disrespectful to his wife, but this is one of the press cuttings that his children will not want to read about. Who knows what goes on behind closed doors, there are lots of reasons for why these things happen. And it isn't only men that are love cheats. Plenty of women are too.
Mark Owen blames alcohol. Lame.
The husband is away on business tonight, he will be drinking whilst watching the Liverpool match at the hotel bar. Let's just hope he's
a) Not so pissed he thinks he's Tom Jones/Mark Owen/Tiger Woods
b) Not lonely and vulnerable and
c) Keeping his tail firmly tucked in his trousers...