Everyone is in for a treat when the new Nanny McPhee movie comes out next week. It is a delight for kids and adults, it has the word poo in it, a lot, which is obviously hilarious, dancing piglets, mud, bombs, flying motorbikes, beautiful English countryside, cowpats and Ewan McGregor.
But shove over Maggie Gyllenhaal, with your perfect Cath Kidston-esque dresses, beautiful hair, and gorgeous red lipstick, you quite clearly don't need a nanny.
I do!
The kids are squabbling, sulking, waking up too early, not eating enough fruit, not sleeping through the night, not doing as they are told, answering me back, getting through three sets of clothes a day, breaking expensive toys, making holes in their tights with their toe nails as they refuse to get them cut, wiping bogie's on the sofa, crying over whenever they don't get their own way...need I go on?
The husband, well, he isn't much better. He is leaving his pants on the floor, or the top of the wash basket - which is quite frankly, more frustrating than the floor. If he managed to walk from his side of the bed, to the wash basket, place the pants on top of said basket, then why not simply lift the lid and pop them in, whilst he's there? Arse! He is out playing football a lot, or watching football, he is leaving shoes by the back door, by the front door, on the stairs, at the bottom of the bed, that I trip over daily, he is leaving stinking sweaty football kit INSIDE the laundry basket, therefore making the whole lot of dirty washing smelling of B.O...Need I go on?
So, if anyone has Nanny McPhee's phone number, please supply me with it. I desperately need some magic....do you?
To see why I need the magic, click here
11 comments:
Oh definitely. Let's apply to channel four's wife swap and swap lives, then mess up Husband's head.I shall tell your Hubby I'm into bondage and whip him at any misdemeanor, I could also arrange to get the dog adpoted if you want. We could acheive a lot between us girl.
You made me reach for the Nutella jar. I wish I could let you have Nanny McPhee's number. I don't suppose you live in Helsinki? Daughter is there looking for a nannying job...
Haha @Millenium Housewife's comment. Sounds like a plan to me. Meanwhile, I am digging into the Nutella jar as well. Let me know when you found McPhee. I think I could do with a little magic, too!
PS: How is the creative writing course going?
Absolutely! although I'm not even sure if Nanny McPhee could deal with the small wanna-be dictator who lives in my house.
Do you ever have Super Nanny moments when you stop, look at what's occurin' and see Super Nanny over your shoulder just shaking her head?
I tame teenagers, would you like me to come help?
I would love some help from Nanny McPhee. She could have taken over the other night when LB2 decided to have a middle of night tantrum over the fact that I had given him milk instead of water - we ended up with water all over the bed and me changing sheets at 3am.....
I need her too - she could sort our my hormally challenged 10 year old!
I've already finished the Nutella!!
my daughter finds Nanny mcphee terrifying so i only have to suggest we watch the film to get her to do as she is told LOL wish it worked with the husband though who does something similar to yours and puts the his plate etc on the worktop ABOVE the dishwasher rather than in the dishwasher itself!!
Lesley x
I think we're sharing the same husband! Do you think he's one of those bigamists leading a double life?
We saw it an loved it. I especially liked the scene where she was yelling ay the kids not to yell, and they said but you're yelling!
MH - Tempting as it sounds, I think your bondage and whip would frighten the life out of my husband. Hmmm, actually, not a bad idea at all...
Helena - No, I don't live in Helsinki.Unfortunately. If you ever find Nanny McPhee's number please be kind enough to pass on...
MM - The course is going OK thanks MM, half way there!
Natasha - I often wonder how I would come across on a Super Nanny type programme...badly one suspects...
Auntie - Tame teenagers? Hmm, do the same laws apply to 6 year olds? She acts like a teenager sometimes (stroppy, mood swings, arguing over what she wears, etc )NVG - Sounds like a night in our house. YOu have my utmost sympathy.
Diney - Join the queue! Bagsy I get her first!
Lesley - Do husbands ever wonder how plates make it into the dishwasher or pants into the wash basket? It must be that elusive cleaning fairy.
Working Mum - You have the pants issue too? If we are sharing husbands, you can have him in the week and I'll take weekend. Thanks muchly.
A Modern Mother - I know, I have realised that a lot of parenting is do as I say, not as I do. Which used it irritate me enormously as a child, as did the line...because I say so...and I use it all the time as a Mother.
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