Saturday, 1 August 2009
Today I went shopping.
It was revolutionary.
And here is why...
* In the car I could have the music on a radio station I like at top volume without protests of, 'turn it down,' 'I don't like this music' or, 'can we have the snake is in the grass one?'
* I parked on level two, gliding straight into a space, instead of circling continuously around the parent and toddler parking bays and then I could walk down several flights of stairs because I didn't have a buggy. Did you hear that? I could walk down stairs. I haven't walked down car park stairs in a long time. I forgot, they generally smell of wee.
* I walked straight out of my car to the wee stairs without shouting 'STOOOOOOOPPPPP!' whilst yanking a little girls arm. I actually only had to look out for myself and luckily I know that in a car park there are cars, and cars can run you over if you walk in front of them.
* I could look around shops without saying/shouting, 'Put that down.', 'No, you can't have any sparkly shoes.', 'Stop hiding in the clothes rails.' 'Stop touching the clothes.' 'No we are not going up the escalator again.''Where is your little sister?' 'Don't wipe your bogey there thank you.' 'Yes, she's mine. Thank you. Sorry about that.' 'Yes, you can have some apple/mini cheddars/cookies if you just stop calling me Mummy for five minutes.'
* I managed to buy a whole outfit for a wedding from one shop. Yes, you heard me. A dress, some shoes and a vintage cardi because I had time to try them all on and get some great advice from the sales assistant, who btw, I wanted to keep with me forever more as my personal stylist. And I told her. I think she thought I don't get out much. She is right. Well, not without children anyway.
* I then managed to saunter around the farmers market without anyone pulling at me, demanding a cupcake, touching lavender, taking a bite out of a bell pepper or saying, is it time to go home now?
* I even managed to go into the supermarket without buying a princess magazine, a bag of buttons and some gingerbread men to decorate. I just got exactly what I needed, nothing more, nothing less.
* Although I could have as much time as I needed, I actually got all this done in an hour and a half at a leisurely pace, due to the fact I didn't have a buggy, two children and a miserable husband loitering along about a metre behind me.
I skipped back to the car, whistling with happiness at my brilliant and productive mornings shopping.
When I arrived home I did a little fashion parade of my purchases feeling ultra pleased with myself.
He said, 'Aren't you going to be too hot in that?'
And from the little girls, 'Why do you always buy dresses that are black?'
That was just the sound of my bubble bursting.
Back to real world.