1. I am a terrible hypochondriac. Currently I have an annoying neck ache and feel a bit dizzy. I obviously think I have a neck tumour with 6 months to live. More likely explanation, trapped nerve and need more sleep. Other ailments I have suffered from in the past - brain tumour (headache), leukemia (bruise), meningitis (heat rash), Deep Vein Thrombosis (leg ache), appendicitis (a stitch)...you get the idea...
2. My dad worked in a sweet factory. I blame him for my penchant for a piece of chocolate after every meal (including breakfast), as he used to bring home samples. For years I believed he painted smarties for a living, it was a bitter disappointment when I found out he was actually an engineer and bought in machinery to make Easter eggs.
3. My mum lives in Carol Voderman's old house.
4. I am the product of a broken home. I am not a mass murderer, drug addict or anything else that I am supposed to be coming from a single parent family.
5. I didn't breast feed my children. The shame.
6. I did give birth at home. The pain.
7. I have been told I look like Alice from the Vicar of Dibley, Dani Behr, Tori Spelling, Tess Daly, Sienna Miller and Sarah Beeney. I wish I looked like Sienna Miller, I probably look most like Alice from the Vicar of Dibley.
So to pass the baton on, I will tag Mom/Mum wars and Millennium Housewife.
24 comments:
I so agree on no 4
and no 6
I also gave birth to Beautiful Baby Daughter at home, she wasn't the most painful, that would be natural childbirth of the beautiful son who weighed in at 9 pounds eleven ounces and a whopping 63 cm long !!!!
Auntie - are you still walking like John Wayne?
Glad I found out such interesting nuggets from my tag!
I would be a hypochondriac too, but being married to The Doctor he doesn't allow such things. I'd have to be dying on the floor before he actually suggested I see my own GP...
And I'll bet you do look like Sienna and not Alice!
Nappy Valley - I should have married a doctor! I don't look like Sienna. For a start I am much older than her. Oh, and I don't have affairs with married men then split up with them less than 6 months later. Miaow...
Small Child is right there with you for no. 1. Things only get better if they have plasters on!
I too join the shameful band at number 6 - she didnt want it and I couldnt do it. Tho you might think I'd started her straight on the vodka from the looks on some folks faces!
The woman who plays Alice is the sister of the woman who discovered Kate Moss - so that link now makes you a supermodel!
Confused. Husband is now your number one fan. And I'm his number two blog. It is not fair to leave stunningly witty comments where easily influenced Husbands may find them. If I ever leave a great one for you (and I'm working on it), please show it to your Husband and mention that I too get my boobs out in dim light. MH
ps, where might one purchase an underwired bra that holds it all up? I have a friend who is interested.
pps Thanks for the tag, will have a think, but fear I am monumentally dull.
That girl - hmm, yes, I often look at myself in the mirror and think 'supermodel'...After I have done my ironing, I will pop over to yours and catch up. x
MH, My husband only shows interest in my boobs. He has read my blog just once when I started it. Now he is just happy that it keeps me quiet of a night and that I don't keep pestering him to talk to me about things such as new houses, how I should have my hair cut etc etc. I will however mention that you get your boobs out in a dim light. But for whom? Your husband or mine?
PS - tell your 'friend' that any underwired will do (mine is M&S, I wish it were Agent Provocateur, but hey, I have no money) just tighten the straps at the top to hitch them up, and then unload the beauties over the top of the underwired bit, like you're in Razzle, I find it helps give them a bit of a pre children look.
pps - you dull? Far from it MH, far from it...
FINALLY. After all this time surfing blogs, someone is talking about boobs!! YES!!
Holy sheet. I knew there was something super cool going on over here. I had a feeling in my water. You’re talking about boobies and I caught you out. This is my favourite topic of conversation and I’m thinking of starting a blog dedicated to this subject. Oh wait. Maybe the market is already saturated with this stuff. Oh drat. Back to the drawing board.
Anyway where did all this boob talk start? Aha! Millenium Housewife! That’s where I’m going next.
Oh yeah… nearly forgot…. great answers. Now where did I put my hand warmers?
Hahahahaha.
Dave - are you a grown man calling breasts boobies? Or are you 13? Ha ha, you make me laugh at your giddiness when it comes to ze boobies. The conversation started over at Millennium Housewife, about the power of persuasion that boobies have...judging by your reaction, I believe you may be living proof...
LOL - one of our relatives works for Carol's new house. I love the idea of a dad painting smarties for a living...sounds yummy :-D
Now we know everything!
We will all now imagine a Sienna lookalike who despite her aches & pains bore the greatest pain of all to give birth naturally at home.
Hope your neck gets better soon X
21st Century Mum - thanks for visiting! I would eat the profits if I painted smarties. I wish your book was out in time for Christmas, I think it would be the perfect gift for my sister in law! Oh well, she will have to wait until next Christmas. Good luck with the next 35,000 words...
adventure mother - we crossed comments, so now I have to leave another as it would be rude not to before I go to bed...Oh gawd, what have I gone and done, people now think I am a beauty like Sienna and in reality I am more quirky looking like Alice!! As for my aches and pains, I always self assess naturally, I never actually visit the doctor for my suspected ailments. I just bore my husband with them. I hope my neck gets better soon, turning is proving difficult at the moment, which might explain how I nearly knocked someone over the other day...but that's another blog, and I'm wittering too much. Night!
x
Dave, if you want boobies you should have joined the boy scouts. Take a look at this...
http://thedotterel.blogspot.com/2008/11/we-interrupt-this-programme.html
(Sorry, CTTF - great randomness!)
I now have an image of Dibley Alice - with great boobs. Am I close?
The actress who played Alice went to my school. Such a small world!
A confused take that fan: Nearly right. I am actually a 13 year old boy trapped in the body of a grown man. What else can I tell you? I’ve got four children. Proof enough that your technique works like a charm. Hahaha.
Say it with me…..”Boobies.” Hehehehe.
The Dotterel: That’s creepy and oh soooo funny at the same time. I hate them.
Mud in the City: “Dibley Alice – with great boobs” *shudder* (in a good way. lol)
Think I suffer from No 1 too. Have had 1 blood test,1 urine test,1 kidney/stomach scan and 3 trips to the doctor for various aches and pains in the last 6 months - and apparently, there is nothing wrong with me. Plan to go back next month and prove them wrong! Hope your neck gets better soon (sounds like cancer of the lymph glands to me).xx
Hi Confused,
Love your revelations and that you thought your dad painted smarties :) Also glad you put number five up there. When I was talking to people about breast feeding before (and how I wasn't quite sure about it) I felt very 'got at' with people telling me I must when I was still trying to work out what I felt about it all.
f
The dotteral - I daren't go look at your link, esp if Dave thinks it's creepy...
Mud - Hmmmm, I used to have great boobs, on my honeymoon in US I was asked by a manager of Hooters if I used to work there...now however, two kids make them look like Christmas balloons in Feb, a bit sad looking, empty and shrivelled. Poor boobies,(oh gawd, Dave, now you've started me off calling them boobies) I did mourn the loss of my perky ones for a good few years....
Dave - You men are so weak...when it comes to ze boobies...
Tarte - Oh no, not cancer of the lymph glands...uh oh. Perhaps I should go see a doctor? Immediately?
Frances - I know, the breast feeding thing has gone almost too far the other way so for those who choose not to, or can't, are left feeling failiures, bad mothers, guilty etc etc.
I went to uni with the actress who played Alice's brother. Only she is younger than him and wasn't at all famous at the time, so he didn't mention her! They don't half look alike tho'.
Hello, Thankyou for coming to visit my blog - and for your sensitive wise thoughts... I don't mind you commenting on the very personal situation at all - I'm at such a loss myself that all thoughts help.
Lovely to visit, I'll come again.
Livvy
Oh you secret Sienna lookie-likey glamour puss! I did a photofit computer thing at work for a laugh (but obviously expecting a match with Elizabeth Hurley) and my closest fit was Saddam Hussein! I come from Anglo/Irish stock and I'm blonde but my work colleagues have never let me forget it!
You make me laugh so much!
Vordie's old house - your mum's dead posh isn't she?
And you're definitely more Sienna than Alice...FACT.
Thanks for the tag. have done it at last...
expat mum - great, so now I look like Alice's brother too. Could be, I did find a whisker on my chin the other day. Mortifying. Thought that only happened when you hit 80?
Livvy - so glad I didn't offend. Stay strong and thanks for visiting.
Blogthatmama - Saddam Hussein?? Do you have a 'tache?
Mom/Mum - no you make ME laugh...
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