You're not supposed to get empty nest syndrome until they have left home, but I think I got a taste of what it's going to feel like today. Just like a lot of other blog mamas and papas my big girl has waved Mummy dearest bye bye and gone and started big school.
Seeing her in uniform I could feel the tears building.
Walking her up to school, I was inwardly sobbing, but held myself together so as not to upset her.
Reached school, promised her if she didn't cry she could have the rabbit family from Sylvanians.
She went in and didn't look back. Damn, I didn't predict that. There goes £20.
I slowly walked home with baby girl (I say baby girl, she is actually nearly two).
Opening my front door I was not only hit with left over toast on the floor, an old nappy waiting to go to the outside bin, warm milk that had been left out, but an overwhelming silence.
My little friend was all grown up and had left me to go to school. Meanwhile I have been left to entertain the toddler on my own.
I missed her. There's a little piece of my heart throbbing as another of my family gets on with their life, leaving me here, directionless.
Soon toddler will be starting pre school, just two mornings a week to begin with. Then I have no more excuses. I have to get some freelance work. People are already asking me, 'What are you going to do with yourself?' I've also been asking myself that daily, no make that almost hourly, for the last year. When toddler is in nursery school five mornings a week, what on earth will I do?
Tonight I have a new solution, I may have to forgive the husband, put out and get myself another baby - I'll do anything to avoid having to make a decision over my career and putting myself out there again. The prospect of going back into the 'real' world is more frightening than another child. That's for sure.