He came in at 5am on Saturday morning. He being my husband.
Now tell me, is that the way a father of two children under the age of 5 should behave?
I was supposed to go with him but alas, no babysitter was to be found anywhere and as I'd taken my hairy eyebrows out on Wednesday, he got the nod.
I waved him off feeling very Cinderella.
I stayed in, tidied, put washing on, cleaned the floors on my hands and knees, switched the iron on, switched it off again an hour later (ironing untouched) and went to bed.
At 1am I finally drift off to sleep. No sign of husband.
I wake up again at 2am (it really bugs me that I do this when husband is out, why can't I sleep properly without him?) still a big empty space next to me.
I wake up again at 4.20am. Still no sign. I make a mistake. I call him. I shout. I am angry. I wake up baby girl with my under the breath shouting (which clearly wasn't under the breath). So, she is carried into bed with me. Husband is in a cab on his way home. He is making no sense to me on the phone.
I tell him to sleep on sofa when he gets in as he is absolutely steaming and I have a child in bed.
Half an hour later I hear the key. He stumbles upstairs. I am so angry and tired (it's now 5am) I shout at him to get on the sofa. This 'conversation' wakes up the whole house. Big girl gets in with me. I now have baby girl and big girl in bed with me, when all I really wanted was my husband.
Girls finally drift off again at 6am.
We get up at 8am. Go downstairs and they see their daddy fast asleep on the sofa in his clothes from last night. They scream 'dada' excitedly. It wakes him up. His eyes are bloodshot. He looks like a tramp who has been shopping in Abercrombie and Fitch.
I shoo him upstairs and tell him to sleep it off.
I go to park alone with kids, I take them to a toy shop and indulge them. I am angry that I am entertaining them on my own again for another day. Sometimes it can feel so lonely. I miss my husband when he's at work. I look forward to the weekends and now, here I was alone in the park watching all the other daddies play with their children.
We go home.
He is still asleep.
He didn't even notice we'd gone.
We wake him up.
His eyes are still bloodshot.
He doesn't say sorry.
He says what a wonderful time he'd had. How he sat up with his friends listening to music, chatting and catching up. Something he hasn't done for a long time.
I want him to say sorry.
He finally takes us out in the sunny afternoon and we find a wonderful fresh water stream, the girls paddle with daddy and go fishing with their crab nets, there is a cricket team playing on the green, an icecream van serving real swirly ice creams with raspberry sauce and an old pub serving over priced warm vodka and tonics.
Do I forgive him?
Am I a drama queen?
Sometimes I can't work out if I am over reacting or whether he is totally out of order.
We are talking(has she done a poo? Did she sleep at lunch? Is that baby girl crying etc.) You can't not talk when you have children. But all kissing with tongues, heaving petting and sex has been withdrawn until I forgive him. Will I last out the week?