He came in at 5am on Saturday morning. He being my husband.
Now tell me, is that the way a father of two children under the age of 5 should behave?
I was supposed to go with him but alas, no babysitter was to be found anywhere and as I'd taken my hairy eyebrows out on Wednesday, he got the nod.
I waved him off feeling very Cinderella.
I stayed in, tidied, put washing on, cleaned the floors on my hands and knees, switched the iron on, switched it off again an hour later (ironing untouched) and went to bed.
At 1am I finally drift off to sleep. No sign of husband.
I wake up again at 2am (it really bugs me that I do this when husband is out, why can't I sleep properly without him?) still a big empty space next to me.
I wake up again at 4.20am. Still no sign. I make a mistake. I call him. I shout. I am angry. I wake up baby girl with my under the breath shouting (which clearly wasn't under the breath). So, she is carried into bed with me. Husband is in a cab on his way home. He is making no sense to me on the phone.
I tell him to sleep on sofa when he gets in as he is absolutely steaming and I have a child in bed.
Half an hour later I hear the key. He stumbles upstairs. I am so angry and tired (it's now 5am) I shout at him to get on the sofa. This 'conversation' wakes up the whole house. Big girl gets in with me. I now have baby girl and big girl in bed with me, when all I really wanted was my husband.
Girls finally drift off again at 6am.
We get up at 8am. Go downstairs and they see their daddy fast asleep on the sofa in his clothes from last night. They scream 'dada' excitedly. It wakes him up. His eyes are bloodshot. He looks like a tramp who has been shopping in Abercrombie and Fitch.
I shoo him upstairs and tell him to sleep it off.
I go to park alone with kids, I take them to a toy shop and indulge them. I am angry that I am entertaining them on my own again for another day. Sometimes it can feel so lonely. I miss my husband when he's at work. I look forward to the weekends and now, here I was alone in the park watching all the other daddies play with their children.
We go home.
He is still asleep.
He didn't even notice we'd gone.
We wake him up.
His eyes are still bloodshot.
He doesn't say sorry.
He says what a wonderful time he'd had. How he sat up with his friends listening to music, chatting and catching up. Something he hasn't done for a long time.
I want him to say sorry.
He finally takes us out in the sunny afternoon and we find a wonderful fresh water stream, the girls paddle with daddy and go fishing with their crab nets, there is a cricket team playing on the green, an icecream van serving real swirly ice creams with raspberry sauce and an old pub serving over priced warm vodka and tonics.
Do I forgive him?
Am I a drama queen?
Sometimes I can't work out if I am over reacting or whether he is totally out of order.
We are talking(has she done a poo? Did she sleep at lunch? Is that baby girl crying etc.) You can't not talk when you have children. But all kissing with tongues, heaving petting and sex has been withdrawn until I forgive him. Will I last out the week?
Introducing: Malnourished Monday
1 hour ago
11 comments:
It just seems we are wired different. Us and them. And this fact just is not fair. But it will be an annoyance all our married lives. If I was there, I'd have come to the park with you. What do we do? Get overit or let it eat us up?? I haven't decided...
x
Aah mom/mum I wish you could have come to the park with me and cheeky and monkey. All other friends were playing perfect families.
I just want happy families, kids not having memories of hungover daddy. Although they found it very amusing...! Must remember the perfect family doesn't exist! And we certainly aren't it!
Oh, you are def. not a drama queen, CTTF - looking after little kids is hard enough, but when you feel you're not being supported it's crap. (Maybe he could let you out for a night to let your hair down too, as payback? And look after them the next day....)
I so feel for you! I agree with valley girl - you deserve a night out, or a night in with him being Super Dad.
In any case, we support you!
Very glad to have met you - I died laughing at your title and tagline. I've been stumbling upon such a witty ring of blogs all across the pond (just commented on another Brit blog that it seems the Pilgrims never actually learned English before coming over here).
Aww. That is so sad. I really do feel for you because it's horrible when you feel almost like a single parent. My husband is consumed with work and I feel like I'm bringing the children up on my own sometimes. I don't feel resentful just very sad for him that he's missing out on so much.
I really do hope things change. Does your other half know how you feel? I mean really know how you feel?
Valleygirl - He always offers to babysit whilst I go out. I just don't take advantage enough! And I certainly don't come crawling in at 5am... Thanks for understanding VG.
52 Faces - Thanks for your support!And for saying such lovely things about Britblogs.
Tara - If you were here right now, I reckon I'd be sobbing on your shoulder. You are so kind! He knows how I feel. I am not one to keep things inside...I just don't think he gets it...
Definitely withhold all privileges for at least a week! I would have been mad too! When you have kid(s) it's hard enough and yes, we all want to go off and do the stuff we used to do sometimes. But not without warning and until 5.00am! (sorry....I've gone on a rant!)
I really felt what you were going through because of the way you wrote this post.
Nah, he's been a bad boy.
You are exceptionally forgiving not to just let him take his punishment like a man, ie. morning of hard father duty, maybe involving something extremely sparkly applied to his face, loud saccharine disco, girls bouncing all over him.
Or maybe that's me being an evil old hag.
And? Are you still 'holding out?' I would probably have given in by the evening. No point punishing yourself for his bad behaviour. See if you can get a massage out of him while you're at it.
aawh, I'd have gone to the park with you.
In the passive aggressive spirit that rules my life, I'm with Jaywalker, I'd have sodded off leaving a hungover him to deal with the babas,gone for a long coffee and cake AND I'd have bought shoes, really spensive ones !!!
that girl? - Thanks for visiting and feeling my pain...
jaywalker - I will have to get my own back. I just need a plan...
TT - yep, still holding out. I have given in to kissing with tongues, and I allowed him a cup of the boob earlier - but still feel too cross for anything else!
Auntiegwen - he was still pissed, stunk and was in no fit state to be left with two children. Grrrr
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